News Story One
The school board will meet Monday to decide on Junior Jim Stack’s request to grow his hair in order to donate it to Locks of Love. a non profitable organization that provide hair to those who lost theirs to cancer.
“I hope the board approves my request,” Junior Jim Stack said. “Donating my hair to Lock of Love is very special project to me.”
Stack’s sister inspired him to donate his hair. His sister, Jasmine Stack, received a wig from Locks of Love. After speaking to the president of the foundation, Stack found out that one of the best ways to contribute to the foundation meant donating hair.
“We desperately need human hair for our wigs,” Lock of Love president Gisel Roco said. “Every month we receive about 200 requests from families who cannot afford a wig for their sick child, and every month we have to turn down about 150 of those requests.”
Stack’s goal is grow his hair out 10 inches in order to donate. When Stack’s request was denied by the principal, he wrote to the school board in hopes of receiving an approval.
“Had I approved Jim’s request, then I would have students asking if they also could break the dress code,” Principal Tonya King said.
The dress code states that a male’s hair cannot be longer than collar length. Instead of allowing Stack to grow out his hair, King offered to help with a fundraiser.
“I would be more than willing to help with the fundraiser,”King said.
According to Stack, he wants to do more. He doesn’t want to just donate money like everyone else, he wants to donate hair to help those turned down.
“Anyone can donate money, but it takes time and dedication to grow their hair out and donate it,” Stack said.
Despite the denial of his request from King, the school board sent a letter to the student council with 350 signatures approving of Stack’s request.
“I think it’s cool that Jim is gaining support,” Student council president Gilbert Catillo said. “Rulers were made to be broken, and this is a very good reason to break one.”
The school board will be meeting on Monday at 7 pm to vote on this issue. Stack’s hope is to have his request approved and have others do the same.
“After I reach my goal of 10 inches of hair, I hope I can inspire more people in the town to grow their hair and donate it.”
I cant find any errors
sentences are good,punctuation is good,and nice choice of words
I can’t find any errors throughout. overall a very good news story and good insight.
GOOD JOB OVERALL. I HAVE GONE THROUGH AND MADE CORRECTIONS THROUGHOUT YOUR PAPER.
The student board will be meeting this Monday to decide on Jr. Jim Stack’s request to grow his hair in order to donate it to Locks of Love, a non profitable organization who provide hair to those who have lost theirs to cancer. “THE SCHOOL BOARD WILL MEET MONDAY TO DECIDE ON JUNIOR JIM STACK’S REQUEST” THEN CONTINUE AS YOU DID. THEN, IT SHOULD BE “ORGANIZATION THAT PROVIDES”
“I hope the board approves my request,” Jr. Jim Stack said. “Donating my hair to Lock of Love is very special project to me.”
SPELL OUT JUNIOR
Stack’s sister inspired him to donate his hair. His sister, Jasmine Stacks, had previously received a wig from Locks of Love. After speaking to the president of the foundation, Stacks found out that one of the best ways to contribute to the foundation meant donating hair.
GET RID OF “PREVIOUSLY.” HIS NAME IS STACK NOT STACKS.
“We desperately need human hair for our wigs,” Lock of Love president, Gisel Roco said. “Every month we receive about 200 requests from families who cannot afford a wig for their sick child, and every month we have to turn down about 150 of those requests.” DO NOT NEED THE COMMA BETWEEN PRESIDENT AND GISEL.
Stack’s goal is grow his hair out 10 inches in order to donate. When Stack’s request was denied by the principal, he wrote to the school board in hopes of receiving an approval.
“Had I approved Jim’s request, then I would have students asking if they also could break the dress code,” Principal Tonya King said.
Leguetown’s dress code states that a male’s hair cannot be longer than collar length. Instead of allowing Stack to grow out his hair, King offered to help with a fundraiser. DO NOT NEED LEAGUETOWN. JUST SAY “THE DRESS CODE STATES”
“I would be more than willing to help with the fundraiser,”King said.
But Stack wants to do more. He doesn’t want to just donate money like everyone else, he wants to donate hair to help those turned down. THIS IS AN OPINION. YOU NEED TO REWRITE THIS TRANSITION.
“Anyone can donate money, but it takes time and dedication to grow their hair out and donate it,” Stacks said. AGAIN, STACK NOT STACKS.
Despite the denial of his request from King, the school board sent a letter to the school board with 350 signatures approving of Stack’s request. (THIS IS INACCURATE) THE SCHOOL BOARD DID NOT SEND A LETTER. THE STUDENT COUNCIL DID.
“I think it’s cool that Jim is gaining support,” Student council president Gilbert Catillo said. “Rulers were made to be broken, and this is a very good reason to break one.”
The school board will be meeting on Monday at 7 o’clock(NO O’CLOCK JUST SAY PM) to deliberate (VOTE) on this issue. Stack’s hope is to have his request approved and have other do the same. REMOVE THE SECOND SENTENCE. IT IS AN OPINION.
“After I reach my goal of 10 inches of hair, I hope I can inspire more people in the town to grow their hair and donate it.”
OVERALL, THIS IS A GREAT FIRST ATTEMPT. PLEASE REWRITE AND REPOST.